4/24/08 (Update 2)

So I haven’t written anything in a while and if anyone actually enjoys reading about my life than I apologize. This is been what’s going on since I last updated.

I was diagnosed with a joint disease and a ganglia (sp?) cist. I can’t play drums anymore because of this since it has become too painful to play. Unfortunately the cist is too small to be removed but just large enough to prevent me from playing. So without drums I’ve been trying to find a new way to deal with everything. It used to be if I was angry, annoyed, depressed, ecstatic, or whatever I’d go downstairs and start drumming away to let it out. So I’ve been trying to find something to replace that, and I finally have. Torching. Specifically glass art torching. I take glass art at school and have found the torch to be very therapeutic. It’s calming and I feel so much better after it so I’ve been bugging my parents about letting me get one at home. Of course they said no, because they’re afraid about my little brother’s friends, who don’t know how to use it, messing with it and getting hurt. So while I work on that I still have no outlet unless I’m at school and it’s 8^th period (which is when my class is) or a free period in which I can use the torches (only happens during 7^th period).

Lately I’ve been struggling with this problem. So here it goes:

I met this guy, Jason, in the 7^th grade who I absolutely loved, I  developed a small crush on him in that one day I met him but brushed it off. At the time though he had a girlfriend, as well as my good friend who introduced had a crush on him. I saw him again during my freshman year briefly and was reminded of just how lovable he is. Come this year he’s in one of my classes and the entire year I’ve devoted to getting to know him better in the short time during the day we have together. My crush on him has come back full force, unfortunately though, my best friend in the whole world, Michelle, who I could never live without and practically live in fear of life without her, likes him too. See Michelle met him while on stage crew and they share theater class together. They’ve instantly become great friends. She likes him, he likes her, end of story right? No. See Jason’s best friend Joel has a crush on Michelle which Jason knows about. Jason didn’t know Michelle liked him and told Joel to go ahead. Joel asked out Michelle and she turned him down. I have crush on Jason, of which I’ve told NO ONE. I’m not gonna act on my crush, I don’t even want to. What I want is a way to get over it because once Joel gets over his crush on Michelle, Michelle and Jason can go out and be perfect for each other (you can tell they will be just by looking at them when they hangout together). I’m struggling to get over this crush and it’s driving me crazy liking Jason that way and be completely wrong for him in every way while Michelle and him will be perfect.