Rebeljunkie's Blog

That's right according to their recently updated website (www.blink182.com) the band is officially back together!

BLINK 182 IS FUCKING BACK!!!!! http://www.blink182.com/band/message.aspx

Okay seriously, I’ve been trying not to do this but here I am, doing it.

I’m writing my review of the Twilight movie.

As a fairly die hard Twilight fan, I went into the movie having decently high expectations. No movie made from a book is going to be just as amazing as the book, we all know that but still as a fan I did have some slightly high hopes.

And let me tell you, they were dashed. I saw the movie twice. The first time I went in as a Twilight fan, watching the movie with excitement because of the book. The second time I tried a different route and watched the movie trying to come from my usual perspective, the movie-whore girl who goes and sees almost every movie.

Now the first viewing (as a fan) I was okay with the movie. Sure I thought the girl who played Bella (Kristen Stewart) couldn’t really act, and that Edward (Robert Pattinson) needed his eyebrows plucked, for serious they looked like two dark fuzzy caterpillars had made a home on his forehead, but you could get past that and enjoy the movie as a version of the book. Because let’s face it Alice was depicted perfectly, as was Emmet and Carlisle. I felt Esme needed a bigger part then the like 7 lines she was given, Rosalie could’ve been prettier, Jasper’s stare was super sketchy, and Jacob’s hair was too long but other than that it was okay, from a fan’s view.

Here’s where things changed, my second viewing.

This viewing (as a movie-whore who goes and sees almost everything) the movie flat out sucked.

You couldn’t understand the awkwardness between Bella and Edward at all. They didn’t explain the eye color changing enough so if you didn’t already know that made absolutely no sense.

But they thing that really did the plot in was the fact that they cut out every scene in the book where Edward and Bella really bonded and condensed it into one dinky scene that barely expressed it. Because of that fact you couldn’t understand how the relationship switched between the two from “I almost but not quite hate you” to “I love you unconditionally and would die for you and/or damn myself eternally to be with you.” The bond between the two characters isn’t developed enough it doesn’t come off as the amazing “meant to be” relationship it is in the book and instead just comes off as a unoriginal high school romance with a vampire twist.

Also, kind of pertaining to that they didn’t go into why Bella’s smell affected Edward so much enough. Because a girl was in the theater that hadn’t read the books and kept asking “I don’t get it, why does she bother him that much?” Proving that they needed to improve that area, A LOT.

Then of course there’s Kristen Stewart’s acting problem. It’s not really a problem as much as it is her just failing at it. I’ve seen her in other movies and though she never astounded me I had never before thought she stunk this bad, but she did. It got to the point where my super serious theater kid friend turned to me and whispered “She’s done almost everything my theater teacher told my class never to do. In fact, Ms. Jayann (her theater teacher) could just show this movie on what not to do instead of telling us.” And if someone who’s taken theater-acting lessons for most of her life and has been the star role in almost every performance she’s tried out for says that. I think she knows what she’s talking about on some level.

I also felt that way about Kristen Stewart’s acting, as a movie-whore and as some one who does stage crew almost religiously I can spot bad acting when I see it, I might not know exactly what they’re doing wrong or how to fix it, but I know it’s bad. And Kristen Stewart? She was bad.

One last point though. Anyone else notice that Billy Black (THE MAN WHO CAN”T WALK AND NEEDS A WHEEL CHAIR) was driving in that one over dramatic scene where Edward’s car passes his? Okay in the book it is said he has no use of his feet and Jacob drive him around, but Jacob is underage so no Hollywood movie can promote a kid driving without a license but then shouldn’t they have just cut out the fact that he needed a wheel chair? Especially since after he parked the car Jacob had to come around and carry him and place him into the wheel chair. I mean come on that was a major flaw. Having the guy who couldn’t use his legs drive.

 I know that Billy could have gotten a car specially modified so he could drive but still, he gave Bella the truck because he couldnt drive it anymore so him driving still doesn't make any sense. since it would've been cheaper to modify that truck than buy a whole new car with the modifications.

So those of you who remember from before when I said I had to give up drums because of my wrist problems (my ganglion cist that is)? Well things are looking up, not for the drumming part unfortunately but for the cist.

See last time I went to the doctor (who specializes in bones and joint or something like that) he said that it was a ganglion cist for sure but, it was too small to be removed. Only it was big enough to mean the end of my drumming career for good, because it was too painful to play with.

Recently though, it’s gotten a lot worse. It even swelled up till it looked like there was a ping pong ball underneath the skin in my wrist! It’s also been super painful, which has made in increasingly difficult to type papers on the computer for school, which is a problem grade wise.

But I digress, I am getting the cist looked at sometime this week (though I’m pretty sure it’s big enough to be removed) and they’ll tell me what’s going on soon enough.

Unfortunately this does not mean I can go back to be a drummer. So I still am a drummer of 5 years who was forced to quit. The reason I can’t play again is because there are two things that could happen with the cist.

1. It’s not big enough to remove so they can’t do anything about it and it will also continue to be too painful to play. Or

2. They can remove so then a date for the surgery will be set for sometime next year (I’m hoping during swimming in gym xD) and then I’ll spend months in physical therapy to regain all wrist control and eventually my wrist won’t be in pain anymore, but I won’t be allowed to do any really repetitive motion (like drumming) with my wrist for a year or two and then when I finally can I’ll probably never be at the skill level I was at before all of this started.

So, while I am really down about not being able to play drums well ever again, I already knew that when the cist was first discovered which means I’m almost completely at peace with the idea (though I’ll miss drumming like hell) but I’m super excited for the possibility of getting the cist removed because then the pain in my wrist will finally be gone for good!

So those of you who read my update from the 24th of April (update 1) know about the glass portrait my friend and I gave to MCR. If you don’t you may want to go read about that.

Well the reason I did that was because my friend (who’s name shall not be mentioned) lived one of those MCR saved my life stories, and so MCR gave me my friend back and I guess I though on some level I should give them something. Because even if they don’t know what they did for my friend (which in turn helped me because I was so wrapped up in worry about them and the fact that they were struggling) they should still get a thank-you. Since glass art is my forte I decided I would make them a portrait (not really more like a carton picture) of them out of glass.

I ran into a problem when I realized that no glass would be able to make drawings so I went and found the glass based paint pens to do the actually people part of the picture. Only problem is I’m a horrible drawer. So I approached my friend Kayte and enlisted her help. She drew an original sketch of what the picture should look like and we went about together making it into glass. We got to the concert it eventually made it to them (all the details of the concert are in yesterdays update) and so on.

Well it’s been almost a month and I keep thinking about that portrait. I tend to take ideas and run with them places I probably should up (since I always end up getting my hopes up only for them to be smashed to bits) but I really want to carry this idea out.

Every time I go see MCR in concert I’m going to give them another piece of my art (this fully mine, no drawing help from anyone). I’ll sign my name to these pieces but at this point I don’t think I’m going to give them any notes with these pieces.

So yeah is this idea creepy? I want to know because I don’t want to do this and have the guys of MCR be like “Who is this crazy chick sending us this glass stuff?” or whatever. Let me know.

Oh and if you have any ideas for a design I should do (on a bowl or plate of flat piece of glass or whatever) let me know at an email address I made specifically for this idea.

So I haven’t written anything in a while and if anyone actually enjoys reading about my life than I apologize. This is been what’s going on since I last updated.

I was diagnosed with a joint disease and a ganglia (sp?) cist. I can’t play drums anymore because of this since it has become too painful to play. Unfortunately the cist is too small to be removed but just large enough to prevent me from playing. So without drums I’ve been trying to find a new way to deal with everything. It used to be if I was angry, annoyed, depressed, ecstatic, or whatever I’d go downstairs and start drumming away to let it out. So I’ve been trying to find something to replace that, and I finally have. Torching. Specifically glass art torching. I take glass art at school and have found the torch to be very therapeutic. It’s calming and I feel so much better after it so I’ve been bugging my parents about letting me get one at home. Of course they said no, because they’re afraid about my little brother’s friends, who don’t know how to use it, messing with it and getting hurt. So while I work on that I still have no outlet unless I’m at school and it’s 8^th period (which is when my class is) or a free period in which I can use the torches (only happens during 7^th period).

Lately I’ve been struggling with this problem. So here it goes:

I met this guy, Jason, in the 7^th grade who I absolutely loved, I  developed a small crush on him in that one day I met him but brushed it off. At the time though he had a girlfriend, as well as my good friend who introduced had a crush on him. I saw him again during my freshman year briefly and was reminded of just how lovable he is. Come this year he’s in one of my classes and the entire year I’ve devoted to getting to know him better in the short time during the day we have together. My crush on him has come back full force, unfortunately though, my best friend in the whole world, Michelle, who I could never live without and practically live in fear of life without her, likes him too. See Michelle met him while on stage crew and they share theater class together. They’ve instantly become great friends. She likes him, he likes her, end of story right? No. See Jason’s best friend Joel has a crush on Michelle which Jason knows about. Jason didn’t know Michelle liked him and told Joel to go ahead. Joel asked out Michelle and she turned him down. I have crush on Jason, of which I’ve told NO ONE. I’m not gonna act on my crush, I don’t even want to. What I want is a way to get over it because once Joel gets over his crush on Michelle, Michelle and Jason can go out and be perfect for each other (you can tell they will be just by looking at them when they hangout together). I’m struggling to get over this crush and it’s driving me crazy liking Jason that way and be completely wrong for him in every way while Michelle and him will be perfect.

I went to an MCR concert on Friday, April 18^th, at the congress theater (their second concert there). I took some pretty great photos (links are at the bottom) and had a great time. They played with David Costa (who I hadn't heard of, and I wasn't impressed by), Drive By (who sold their own merch after their set so you could go and meet them personally!), and Billy Talent (I already liked them and they were great live).

It was an eventful night though. So here's how it went:

We arrived at the concert and met a lady, Carolyn, who works for my dad. Her friend owns the congress theater and we were supposed to go and meet MCR before the show so we walked behind the theater to the backstage entrance only to be told that although my name and the three other girls with me had our names on the list Carolyn's name had not been placed on the list (instead Max's (a guy who was originally going to be the one to get us backstage but couldn't since his wife was starting chemo the day before) name was on the list) and we couldn't go in without Max.

Right after we turned away who walks out? Bob Bryar. I looked at him and my eyes widened because he was so close that if I was to raise my arm I could touch him. He saw my eyes widened and looked nervous. I didn’t want to bother him since he had obviously come out into the alley for a reason so I turned back to my friend Kayte and when I turned away I saw him visibly relax, glad I wasn't going to go up to him. He walked towards some people and we were told we had to leave the alley so we walked behind Bob and a girl in the group of people he was taking to goes "Bob they're following you" in a teasing voice.

We walk back to the front only to find out that because of the name change we can’t get our tickets from Will Call and can’t get in. So Carolyn calls her friend, who calls his friend that’s working at the theater that night and his friend comes around and brings us to the back and literally sneaks us in the back entrance. It was pretty cool. So we got inside and were pretty close up when David Costa hit the stage. I've never left my seat during a concert before but David Costa were so bad (in my opinion, sorry if anyone likes them) that me and my three friends (Kayte, Kelsey, and Caitlyn) left and went to sit on the stairs in the front room.

We went back when Drive By was starting to set up. They're really good, but didn't have very good stage presence. They're new to touring though so I'm sure they'll improve in that area. They filmed the crowd a bit (I'm sure they're making a small video like Kut U Up did on the Pop Disaster Tour) and they're performance was filmed as well.

Then Billy Talent came on, also didn't have great stage presence but were great, I already was a fan before the show though.

Then MCR came on. Caitlyn and I pushed up to the front until there were only two people in front of us and enjoyed the show. While they didn’t play any new material off the upcoming album they did play Head First for Halos and Desert Song (those two made my night). During Desert Storm both Ray and Frank sat down to play.

Mikey was wearing a shirt that read Mikey Fuckin’ Way in big block letters. You could get that shirt at the merch stand as well as one that had Ray on it that said Toro above the picture of Ray playing guitar on stage. I’m betting that they’re having a contest to see who’s shirt sells more (that’s just my personal thoughts though).

By the way, at the concert Gerard said something that REALLY amused me right before they played I'm Not Okay.

He started it out sort of like the video saying,

"We like D&D, comics, fangoria.... We're never gonna make it, but I don't want to make it. I just want to DANCE!" and then the song started but I was laughing to hard to sing along because he said it REALLY excited-like. Probably the best moment on stage of the night.

Someone also threw a stuffed animal unicorn on stage which Gerard picked up and said "A unicorn! Mikey loves these! Don't you Mikey?" in a teasing voice.

After the concert Carolyn and the guy who owns the congress theater takes us to a place where the band was supposed to sign stuff for some fans. We waited a good 45 minutes while the equipment was loaded into trucks because apparently they couldn’t come and sign anything till it was all loaded up. When that happened it was 11:35 p.m. which is curfew for the city of Chicago (if you are under 18) and that means the band couldn’t come out a sign anything since it wouldn’t be fair to the fans under 18 that couldn’t stay out.

We saw Gerard and Ray talk to the security guards about coming and signing any way but the guards wouldn’t have it. They came over and told all the fans to leave. My friend Kayte and I had made the MCR guys something (which I’ll also post a link to) and the security guard gave it to Bob for us (the guys said thank you through the security guards to us). 

And we went home some what disappointed but it wasn’t like the MCR guys didn’t want to come and see us because we heard and saw them argue with the guards. These things happen.

And that’s it.

Since this has become an unbearably long update I’ll stop here.

Here are the links to the pics from the concert:

Two pictures of the glass portrait Kayte and I made for MCR (copyrighted!!):

I hate her sometimes.

My sister that is. She thinks that because she's 23 she can make me do whatever she thinks I should be doing. NEWSFLASH: I already have a set of parents I don't need another! Like my friends and I were messing around and playing dress up and I dressed up as Debbie from the Wild Thornberry's (that cartoon that used to be on Nickelodeon). So yeah the picture that was taken wasn't the most flattering and I deleted it after it was posted but my sister saw it a lectured me that I shouldn't post (even though my friend posted the picture not me) pictures of me like that one. I don't really see what was so wrong either, I was wearing jeans, a green open button up shirt and an orange belly tank-top, so I'm not the skinniest person in the world but I deleted the picture and she should get off my fucking case. I mean their are pictures of me in my bathing suit at the beach and that makes my stomach look worse then the fucking picture of me as Debbie...

I hate Alex and am surprised I ever called her my friend. Plus she dumped Isaac saying they were only "going on break" but then a got a new boyrfriend like two days later.

See I first met Alex through my friend Corey in the beginning of freshman year. Alex was in my an advisory with Corey, Kelsey, and Caroline, three girls who's judgement of people I trust. But since I had no classes with Alex I was never given the chance to get to know her extremely well before she was accepted into are group of friends.

Come sophomore year though, I finally get a chance to hangout with Alex one-on-one. When I do I discover she's not someone I want to be friends with. In reality she's a manipulative bitch, who's extremely fake, and would do anything to feel accepted. Corey had already found this out and she and Alex were no longer friends but I hadn't taken sides on the issue and neither had anyone else, even though we all felt Alex was being immature about the whole thing.

But let me explain. See if you call yourself punk then you want out of the stupid labels people have given you. The idea of labels repulses me. Alex on the other hand seems to want to be everything the label my group of friends have been given. She cut herself and the next day happily told me about it. She smokes pot all too often and drinks, even though most people in my group of friends strive to be straightedge. She buys pre-ripped jeans from Pac Sun and dElias, trying to be cool, and the day after she complimented me on my old, beat up, dirty, drawn all over converse and drawn all over jeans she showed up to school with a obviously new pair of converse that she had colored on and jeans with a bag of sharpies asking everyone to write on them. She talks about the movie SLC Punk like it's an anthem to live by when in reality it's a movie that basically says you have to grow up sometime, that you can keep your punk ideals but eventually have to tone them down to surrvive. 

Then theres the lies. She told me she's been a Ramones fan since she was 6, even though I remember the day I went with Kelsey to buy Alex her first Ramones CD because Alex hadn't heard of them. She then will spew out facts about the Sex Pistols or the Clash that I originally told her when I first tolld her they were two of my favorite bands and she said she wasn't really into old bands. The worst though is she told me she hated Green Day and though Operation Ivy's CD Energy was so poorly recorded that she didn't even want to listen to it. Then I mentioned they were my two of my three favorite bands (the other being The Clash) and then two weeks later she was wearing an Operation Ivy shirt and her bag had three Green Day pins on it and a Green Day patch.

I'm not the only one to realize it either. Kelsey is slowly beginning to notice, as is Kayte and Caroline. She is annoying all of us.

So I'm done with her, because I hate fakes and she drives me crazy. Every moment I spend with her I want to slap her across the face. So she's off my top friends list on Facebook (I know that's not a big deal but whatever) and I'm not longer inviting her to anything with me.

"Throughout human history, as our species has faced the frightening, terrorizing fact that we do not know who we are, or where we are going in this ocean of chaos. It has been the authorities, the political, the religious, the educational authorities who have attempted to comfort us by giving us order, rules, regulations, informing, forming in our minds their view of reality. To think for yourself you must question authority and learn how to put yourself in a state of vulnerable, open-mindedness; chaotic, confused, vulnerability to inform yourself. Think for yourself. Question authority."-Timothy Leary

Lately I’ve been asked about being bisexual a lot and I usually ignore that since it’s usually brought up to me in the form of “why did you choose to be bisexual?” and it wasn’t a choice I just am. Today though someone seriously asked me about my sexuality and how I feel about it and how I can be so open about it. So here is my answer.

I think I've always been bisexual, I mean, it's something that I've always been interested in. I think everybody kind of fantasizes about the same sex. I think people are born bisexual, and it's just that our parents and society kind of veer us off into this feeling of; Oh, I can't. They say it's taboo. It's ingrained in our heads that it's bad, when it's not bad at all. It's a very beautiful thing.

I think mostly it's been kept in my head. I've never had a really serious relationship with another woman. But it is something that comes up as a struggle in me. It especially came up when I was about 15. In high school people think you have to be so feminine and what not. People get attacked just because someone insinuates something about their sexuality. I think that's gruesome.

But remember this; random acts of teenage sex are not always bad.

I miss the Tripod.*

There I’ve admitted it. And I know it’s not really something that can be brought back easily but I just wish we could go back to it. So much of my favorite moments from freshman year are Tripod moments that it’s depressing to think that we decided it was over.

And maybe it was for the best. I mean we are no where near as close as we were. Tripod is no longer written on the chalk wall in the loft above my garage and we’ve all changed and moved on. Caroline’s relationship with Nick is so much more serious, and Daniel finally got his blow job (from his girlfriend Mimi).  As for me, well it’s hard to pin down changes in yourself but I’m sure anyone else will tell you the ways I’ve changed.

But it’s so sad, this used to be the group where I said whatever I was feeling to get opinions/advice, but now I’ve turned to blabbing about it to people I don’t know on here. I still trust them with my life, but we no longer have any real time for each other, while I still see both everyday, that’s at school where there is always someone else around. And yeah, I still hangout with Caroline occasionally, and I’d still drop anything to do either of them a favor, but I never see Daniel outside of school anymore. We all have better things to do and we all have other people that come first.

And while I definitely still claim them as my best friends, I’ve been wondering is that so true? Or have I moved on enough to say that yeah, they’re still really close friends that mean a lot to me, but they’re not my best friends anymore.

*The Tripod was what Caroline, Daniel, and I called ourselves. We were just three best friends who always made time for “Tripod time” and it was always fun.

Minority is about being an individual. It's like you have to sift through the darkness to find your place and be that individual you want to be your entire life. I’ve found my place, have you found yours?